From Stomach Aches to Illiteracy.

With back to school quickly approaching…I was ready for the videos and videos of parents complaining that their children didn’t have any stomach aches all summer…so they had better not decide to have them again once school starts. (If your child has a stomach ache about going back to school, please listen to her. Her body is telling you both something!)

Instead there are videos, articles, conferences, and so much tutoring all on the subject of illiteracy or the push to at least get these kids reading at grade level. Depending on who you read, some where around only 22% of graduating high school seniors can read at their level.

While reading an article, with the headline “America is sliding toward illiteracy”, it seems that an argument is being made that the real reason why we’re at this new level of low…is because the adults significantly lowered their own expectations for children, starting about 13 years ago.

A number of things came to mind while I re-read this article. One in particular is a McGuffey’s reader (These are the readers you see in Little House on the Prairie that helped create the most literate country in the world - the USA in the 1800’s.) teacher guide I have was published in 1984 as a supplement to the set of readers. In 1984 the guide tells the teacher that high schoolers are only expected to read through the 4th reader because readers five and six are now for college level reading. (Keep in mind that in 1840 most children finished high school at 15 or 16 years old having completed the sixth reader.) So which reader is now for high school level reading??

But, after that tangent, here's what I keep landing on… I don't think children became lazier. I think many adults got scared; scared of the frustration, the tears, the moment a child says "this is too hard" and we don't know how to fix it fast enough. I can’t tell you how many parents have told me over the past six years “I went to public school and can’t remember anything so how could I homeschool/tutor my child through this hard thing he/she is learning?”. So, lovingly, things were made easier. Not because adults stopped caring. Because some adults cared so much that we couldn't stand to watch them struggle.

However, what I’ve experienced is that children (and especially teens) are so much more capable than the easy version of childhood gives them credit for. Struggle isn't the opposite of a good childhood, it's one of the places a good childhood actually gets built.

Maybe that's the quiet thing so many of us are carrying without saying out loud. It’s the heavy guilt of watching a kid struggle, the wondering if we're doing this whole thing right, and the difficulty of living in a culture with so many parenting ways…it makes your head spin. None of us are alone in that. I think most of us who love a kid want to watch that child struggle with that hard moment and celebrate that he came out stronger.

So if you're in it with a kid right now and some skill that just won't click, this is your permission slip to let it stay hard for one more minute (or five). You're not failing them. You might be doing the most important part of the whole job. 🌱